Mother's Day :)

Mother's day. A day where everybody celebrates the happiness that they themselves share with their beloved mother. Every mother is a saint to their children in their own way. It is just how we acknowledge this. Sometimes for this occasion, some people tend to go to the extreme and yet their mothers are unhappy.What actually makes mothers happy is that they tend to want the simplest things in life (this is what I have learnt through time ). Every mother just wants a F-A-M-I-L-Y... (Father And Mother , I Love You) that is all actually.

Well for me this year and last year would be the hardest. Although trying to embrace this "feeling" is said to be easy, am I that weak to change? or an impact of a lost mother was a tremendous change in my life? I seriously do not know where to start. It is like i am able to help change people but yet I can't change myself. The pain of it has really lost my confidence in life. Yet I must show a stronger exterior for i must not make people weaker than me collapse with me.

A question that I tend to ask when I see ill- mannered children towards their parents. Why won't they learn? Is it because that they must have a certain loss then only they will reflect and understand? Well let it be and to all mother's out there "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY" ..

Are you Game for it?

Personally, I thought that it has a meaning to being friends. After knowing you, my life has changed tremendously( in the worst of ways). I do not know what else is there about you that does not seem to make friends work. I have made up my mind that you should be best left in your own world.

Tell me, what really makes you hate me so much? In your own manner you despite me and talk about me based on your insecurity. Have I no dignity? Have I no pride? What you did was just hurtful and plain revengeful. I do not know how i should move on with a friend like you.

You decide.. should be friends that care or that doesn't care.

A mind filled with Emptiness..

After almost two years, I still am sitting here alone Blogging about this. How much I have began to realize as the fear of silence and loneliness begins to creep in on me. What have I gain this past year? Could it fill the loss that I've lost ? Can it replace the huge part of love that was gone from me? I suddenly feel I am no longer human.

Friends maybe something I have. They are those who show themselves when I am in darkness. Nevertheless, the boundaries are still visible even so marked with such thin lines. How am I suppose to support myself when I have a great sense of fear. When, I begin loosing everything I have once own, even my sanity.

Oh, how splendid the feeling would be when I could turn back the time and change EVERYTHING. For even that one second, I could have made a difference. How TIME messes with me ALL the time. Becoming nothing but a great Fear. Nothing but a rat race in life. NOTHING but trouble in REALITY.

xxFLASHBACKxx

What remains most clearly in my mind was the second when a dying mother looked upon his son and touched his face saying : " Please don't cry..I don't want to see you like this.. I know it is hard but please remember the cheerful part of me." and then falling into a Coma. With hope, the son was praying that she would get out from that coma..3 days later, she passed on. That broken down son was me.. How can I let something so precious to me slip away in front of my very eyes. Something that automatically ran flashbacks of memories in my head and stole all the LOVE away. How am I to pretend. I do not think I am strong enough to hold on anymore. I am going to collapse.

"My life has been filled with temporary colours, what matters is no longer here"

as for all my colours shall slowly fade into the dungeons of darkness

knowing nothing but FEAR and LONELINESS

-FreeStyler-

What is up with you?

Somehow i feel dumbfounded nowadays when i am so determined to help you

and you just throw it away like this..

i changed so much for a friend which led my relationship life to a wreck..

you still feel unappreciated..hmmph.. you really do not know how to suck it up right.

I have given you more than what a friendship can give but you still want more and take it for granted..

When will you learn?

When WILL you change?

WILL you EVER change?

I am just so tired of all this life that you have barred me from happiness.. tell me..

what have you done in your life that is right?

LEARN.. Please..Get a life..

Happy Easter!!

So.. Knowing that easter is around the corner..we (Hvoon, Chai Ying, Michelle (via SKYPE) Susan Lim and I decided to paint eggs and give them to the children...

Here is how the story goes...

Hvoon being happy with the purple egg that she had made for Michelle (YES! Purple is her FAVOURITE Colour)

(Above : The first coat of paint..)

Well we visited the nearby "mamak" stall while waiting for the eggs to dry...

When it finally dried...

(L to R : Me...Hvoon...Chai Ying)

We started our job painting... And well we were really working hard... THINKING mostly..

(Above : Chai Ying)

This is what happens when you let a young tired child who is out of ideas unattended lol..

SEE the BLURNESS..

Ta-da.... our final product.... teeheee... Loving the art... especially the fun we had...BUT

Doing it AGAIN next year might still be in consideration... lol

-FreeStyler-

Fight for?

What do we fight for?

Goals?Satisfaction? or.. getting hurt?

....

(go figure)

You say you've changed but how much?

cheating others? Lying about it?

....

We all want to trust people...

Who? How?

Are they really trustworthy?

....

Frequent problem faced

my current emotion :(

Feeling broken
Barely holding on
But there’s just something so strong
Somewhere inside me
And I am down but I’ll get up again
Don’t count me out just yet

I’ve been brought down to my knees
And I’ve been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I’ll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven’t seen the last of me
You haven’t seen the last of me

They can say that
I won’t stay around
But I’m gonna stand my ground
You’re not gonna stop me
You don’t know me
You don’t know who I am
Don’t count me out so fast

I’ve been brought down to my knees
And I’ve been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I’ll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven’t seen the last of me

There will be no fade out
This is not the end
I’m down now
But i’ll be standing tall again
Times are hard but
I was built tough
I’m gonna show you all what I’m made of

I’ve been brought down to my knees
And I’ve been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I’ll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
I am far from over
You haven’t seen the last of me

No no
I’m not going nowhere
I’m staying right here
Oh no
You won’t see me begging
I’m not taking my bow
Can’t stop me
It’s not the end
You haven’t seen the last of me
Oh no
You haven’t seen the last of me
You haven’t seen the last of me