A mind filled with Emptiness..

After almost two years, I still am sitting here alone Blogging about this. How much I have began to realize as the fear of silence and loneliness begins to creep in on me. What have I gain this past year? Could it fill the loss that I've lost ? Can it replace the huge part of love that was gone from me? I suddenly feel I am no longer human.

Friends maybe something I have. They are those who show themselves when I am in darkness. Nevertheless, the boundaries are still visible even so marked with such thin lines. How am I suppose to support myself when I have a great sense of fear. When, I begin loosing everything I have once own, even my sanity.

Oh, how splendid the feeling would be when I could turn back the time and change EVERYTHING. For even that one second, I could have made a difference. How TIME messes with me ALL the time. Becoming nothing but a great Fear. Nothing but a rat race in life. NOTHING but trouble in REALITY.

xxFLASHBACKxx

What remains most clearly in my mind was the second when a dying mother looked upon his son and touched his face saying : " Please don't cry..I don't want to see you like this.. I know it is hard but please remember the cheerful part of me." and then falling into a Coma. With hope, the son was praying that she would get out from that coma..3 days later, she passed on. That broken down son was me.. How can I let something so precious to me slip away in front of my very eyes. Something that automatically ran flashbacks of memories in my head and stole all the LOVE away. How am I to pretend. I do not think I am strong enough to hold on anymore. I am going to collapse.

"My life has been filled with temporary colours, what matters is no longer here"

as for all my colours shall slowly fade into the dungeons of darkness

knowing nothing but FEAR and LONELINESS

-FreeStyler-

What is up with you?

Somehow i feel dumbfounded nowadays when i am so determined to help you

and you just throw it away like this..

i changed so much for a friend which led my relationship life to a wreck..

you still feel unappreciated..hmmph.. you really do not know how to suck it up right.

I have given you more than what a friendship can give but you still want more and take it for granted..

When will you learn?

When WILL you change?

WILL you EVER change?

I am just so tired of all this life that you have barred me from happiness.. tell me..

what have you done in your life that is right?

LEARN.. Please..Get a life..

Happy Easter!!

So.. Knowing that easter is around the corner..we (Hvoon, Chai Ying, Michelle (via SKYPE) Susan Lim and I decided to paint eggs and give them to the children...

Here is how the story goes...

Hvoon being happy with the purple egg that she had made for Michelle (YES! Purple is her FAVOURITE Colour)

(Above : The first coat of paint..)

Well we visited the nearby "mamak" stall while waiting for the eggs to dry...

When it finally dried...

(L to R : Me...Hvoon...Chai Ying)

We started our job painting... And well we were really working hard... THINKING mostly..

(Above : Chai Ying)

This is what happens when you let a young tired child who is out of ideas unattended lol..

SEE the BLURNESS..

Ta-da.... our final product.... teeheee... Loving the art... especially the fun we had...BUT

Doing it AGAIN next year might still be in consideration... lol

-FreeStyler-